Thursday, October 8, 2009

Action the First Step

Do you ever get that stirring of change deep down inside yourself? When it feels hard to let go, be patient and wait to see what will unfold. The moments that you feel the energy building within seems as if your body is to small to contain it. You wonder what is happening, where is it coming from, and what will the future bring. It is exciting and scary, leaving you with the impression that there is a force out there that wants us to trust in endless possibilities and recognize our dreams. I believe that it is often triggered by one simple action that wakes something inside that needs to be brought to life. This summer Brian and I took a vacation to Northern Italy. We went to the lakes region, wine region and the Mediterranean coast. The scenery was spectacular and I was thrilled to be on my first European vacation. It was however one of my most difficult journies. I ended up spending many days soul searching, filled with emotions of sadness and confusion. Something on this trip triggered an awakening to the fear inside myself. The fear that I had to act, look, and be a certain way to gain acceptance and please others. Ugh... as I write this now I wonder how did I live 41 years of my life with this kind of mindset. While I also want to give myself a big hug because at the same time it also made me a very caring soul. Then onto a great big "YES, I get it now" and can begin to move forward into a place that I am seeing myself through my own eyes, letting go of the filters, being truer to my needs, and progressing to an authentic understanding of self. So now I am in a place and time of movement, taking steps each day to a deeper understanding. I don't know what is in store, I can just feel that it is going to bring me closeer to my dreams.

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